A light hearted section dedicated to Derek Fender who has now left the EDL after his buffoonery and grassing left him no alternative. Derek took a back seat in the EDL after taking a shoeing in a pub in Blackpool from his fellow EDL members.
It has been a busy few weeks with the English Defence League's Yorkshire Division with endless amounts of idiocy spewing from the White Rose county and it was not just Nigel Farage who has recently had a very bad time whilst visiting Scotland.
Last weekend Jeffaz Carr and Hayley Ellis decided to accept a lift up to the Scottish Defence League's demo in Dumfries from some racist halfwit called John Banks and things went belly up from there.
Picture left: EDL clown Jeffaz Carr
The whole trip was fraught with difficulty from the start as Ellis and Carr struggled around Leeds trying to find a printer who would print racist slogans on their flags.
West Yorkshire Police, who are keeping a very close eye on them at the moment due to recent idiocy in Wakefield, are presumed to have tipped off Scottish police that some of their EDL clowns were on their way up to spew some race hate and intercepted them before they arrived.
It appears that John the Driver had something extremely dodgy in his car and the hapless trio found themselves nicked. We are not quite sure what he had in the car but Jeffaz ended up refering to him as a 'cunt' which is a poor way to treat your designated driver.
John the Driver appeared before the courts on Tuesday and Ellis and Carr were released on Sunday which left them stranded in Scotland without any money.
Further investigation reveals John Banks to be the Bill Oddie lookalike from Doncaster who got thrown out of the EDL's ill-fated Cambridge demo for unfurling a Nazi flag. Whatever Nazi John had in his car, Jeffaz and Hayley seem to have distanced themselves from it by a country mile.
Above - John the Nazi in Cambridge
The demo turned out to be crap as the picture below illustrates
Eventually the Scottish Borders Division got fed up with them stinking up their settees for days on end and drove them down to Newcastle upon Tyne so they could get a bus home. According to our sources, it also appears that they have trouble getting rid of Diddyman who had installed himself on one of their sofas with vodka and a bag of MCAT powder and he was presumably taken down to Newcastle with them and released back into England. Scotland became an immediately nicer place.
Above: Hayley Ellis and Diddyman aka Shane Calvert pose for a photo to highlight the dangers of chronic MCAT abuse.
Above: Wannabe terrorist, Micheal Whitehead, who put them up
Back south of the border, Carr and Ellis were not the only ones having a hard time of it. Simon Scott's weekend was ruined by Dirty Don Gold who let the cat out of the bag about Simon doing a Mo Farrah when they all allegedly partook in a drunken brawl with some locals outside Gail Speight's house last weekend.
Scott puts Dirty Don's indiscretion down to the fact that he has run out of Methadone and Craig Tapper Wilson declares bankruptcy after spunking all his spare cash on supplying Speight a ten bag of weed.
Above: Dirty Don Gold with Ellis (left) and Speight (right)
Elsewhere in Yorkshire, the police have been knocking on doors after last week's disastrous demonstration in Moortown which turned into a festival of 'patriots' and Nazis meeting to drunkenly throwing pigs heads about.
Glyn Fill Bowkett who appears to have been, or still is, a fireman in Gainsborough has been charged.
Yorkshire Division are Derek Fender Corner's favourite inept 'patriot division' at the moment and we think that Jeffaz Carr will not be returning to Scotland any time in the near future. We will bring you an update on what was found in John the Nazi's car as soon as we hear.
Police found an axe and hammer in John the Nazi's boot, which is not far off getting caught with a hammer and sickle which he says he is very much against..
'55 year old John Banks from Doncaster appeared at the town's Sherriff Court on charges of behaving in a threatening and abusive manner and being in possession of an axe and a hammer- both of which he denies.'
John has to make a return trip to Scotland in November for trial which is probably not a trip he wants to make.
There is some video of John the Nazi below at the Cmbridge demo earlier this year. He is a proper foamer and never seems to attract much good fortune at EDL demos.
Leeds regional organiser, Gail Speight was arrested yesterday, in an early morning raid on her home.
Police took her laptop and memory cards and it is thought that they are investigating false claims that Muslims attacked her house and injured her with an iron bar last weekend.
Picture left: Speight trying and failing to deliver a speech
The scheme was allegedly thought up and poorly implemented after a drinking session in order to stir racial tensions in the area, and drum up support for the forthcoming Moortown demo.
Before her arrest, Speight was seen attempting to give a drunken speech at the demo where she slurred and stuttered her way through half of her speech before giving up. It is possibly the worst state she had been in, since she got drunk, rang George Galloway's radio show and got mauled.
The demo ended up infested with Nazis and drunken EDL members getting violent, and eating raw pig's liver.
It appears that Speight had not kept her laptop clean and many fellow far right extremists are concerned about the contents.
As of this morning, her front door was boarded up and there was no sign of Speight.
Ex BNP and National Front member, Daz Lumb is also facing legal problems after smashing the windows of the proposed community centre. Lumb is currently hanging around with the clowns of the Combined Ex Forces.
We are not sure if Daz Dumb was going to put in a not guilty plea but his comardes at the CxF have put a dampener on that plan by posting this...
Some more fallout from the Leeds demo seems to revolve around Joanne Meadows aka Joanna Greenwood, who makes a nice line of soft furnishings adorned with swastikas.
A few months ago, she featured on our pages for putting up members of the Combined Ex Forces for the night who went on to half-inch her sister's camera and tobacco.
It seems, according to this anonymous message in our inbox, that she has allegedly been on the rob herself which is not really surprising as the far right are well known for stealing off each other. Meadows has now been booted out of the National Front.
Meanwhile, over in Wakefield, Diddyman has been seen hanging around Gail Speight's house like a bad smell whilst Speight is sorting our her legal woes. Clearly bored and drunk, he posted the following message on Facebook, claiming he was about to take on 30 Pakistanis in a desperate attempt to regain his hardman reputation after getting put on his arse in Brighton a couple of weekends ago.
Warren Faulkner turns up to say he cannot make it down to help his mate out due to the fact he is far too drunk.
Over at EDL HQ (the Parrot Pub, Luton), Tommy has been upsetting 'patriots' again and is not happy with Gail Speight and Jeffaz Carr for inviting known Nazis to the demonstration.
Tommy's legal woes are also hotting up this week as he goes on trial for mortgage fraud which is one we will be watching. A conviction would most likely mean he will be heading back to Wandsworth for another spell on a cold dark dungeon floor whilst his toes are nibbled by rats as big as dogs.
No doubt a conviction will have Tommy re-declared as a political prisoner and the begging bowl will make a reappearance.
Tommy still had time for a massive spat with the Casuals though as this bitchfest broke out on Twitter, in which Tommy goads them about getting put on their arses by a bunch of students.
Talking of the Casualties, their Facebook page and Twitter feed has been as quiet as a mouse since a police investigation was instigated over alleged harassment of an anti fascist in her work place The Casualties were planning on getting her sacked because she was anti racist and having a demo outside her place of work.
We are not quite sure that there is a precedent for people getting sacked for being against racism but they seem to understand that less, than they understand the offside rule.
Over in Stoke on Trent, hardcore convicted racist Robert Greensmith has been accused of threatening his ex girlfriend with a gun and is busy denying it on Facebook.
Meanwhile shenanigans happened in a cheap hotel in Leeds in which London regional co-ordinator Dave Bolton and wierdy beardy, Roger Firth, shared a hotel room, got drunk and took pictures of each other on the toilet whilst wearing EDL balaclavas.
This photo below is of Dave Bolton.
Unite the right? Not bloody likely.
We never tire of laughing at the brains behind the English Defence League, Darren Copeland. Just about everything he does turns into a monumental disaster.
He has been arrested at most EDL demos for getting drunk and racist and has several convictions for being drunk and racist.
Last month we reported he got drunk and went to East London Mosque and started waving a pork chop around, only to get a battering from some locals who were not putting up with any of his shit.
(Picture left: Copeland getting arrested for being a prat)
Last night he got drunk and took to Facebook to try and procure the services of a hitman to stab our Editor.
As we know, all of the most cunning crimes are planned on Facebook in this modern day of information technology.
He only had £100 to spare but it was not long before a cheapo Aldi value range hitman turned up to offer his services.
Wednesbury based tin pot mafioso, John Stuckley asked for our editors address so he could carry out the fearless mission but Copeland being Copeland gave his own address after a misunderstanding.
As it stands, Copeland could well get stabbed on his own doorstep by his own hitman, only for Stabber Stuckley to ask him for a hundred quid upon compeltion of the job.
EDL News plans to have a second hand toilet delivered to his address so if anyone wants to chip in a few quid for the cost and postage fees, please feel free to use the donation box on the right.
That is of course if the police do not get to Copeland first.
(Picture below 'John hitman' Stuckley poses in a Bangkok 'lady bar')
Further reading on this clown
We really probably shouldn't indulge ourselves but something about the ongoing fictionalization of events in Brighton last Sunday by the far-right keeps us heading back to Facebook and Twitter for the latest fantastic developments.
Now you might think the reams of photos of boneheads being kicked all over the pavement/hiding behind the police/ getting bashed on the bonce by flying objects might present a fairly conclusive picture of what happened – but you'd be wrong.
Unfortunatley for EDL fashion victims Casualties United – they weren't quick enough with the camcorder when one of their girls ( a kickboxing champion no less!) battered seven antifa men unconscious. Now that'd be worth seeing! Unfortunately overcome with modesty the Casuals seem to have disappeared this stirring episode from their Facebook.
In an unconscious admission of what really happened (i.e the fash got kicked all over town) Casuals are pinning all their bullshit on one incident down near the pier – apparently a happening so fearsome no 'commie' dares speak of it. The Casuals crack suicide squad (some of whom had already taken a bit of shoeing) managed to run a vaguely defined number of Antifa (think of a number – quadruple it and add five) and batter them all – glorious stuff!!
Sadly back in boring mundane reality what actually happened was that a small group of Casuals, was confronted by a larger mixed group of anti-fascists. To be fair the Casuals did start when outnumbered and managed to split a girl's head open with an umbrella. They were then put on their arses and two of them (including Steven Sands in what must have been one of the worst afternoon's of his life) got nicked.
One participant observer told SchNEWS "They actually weren't very good at fighting – it was all sort of rush in, try and get the first punch, then grab hold of someone and fall over". Maybe SchNEWS is being unfair and staunch nationalists that the Casuals are they were practising some indigenous form of martial arts – the way of the stunned ferret or some such.
The Casuals are fastest becoming our favourite far right clowns since the demise of Combined ex Forces. Laughed at by real Casuals, and laughed at by just about everyone else, their Facebook page has gone into a heavily butthurt meltdown this week.
After getting chased out of Brighton yet again, last weekend, they spent two days of intense butthurt thinking up stories to try and regain some credibility.
Headed by Zoe Marshbot, (who knows nothing about the offside rule), their Facebook page has been getting more and more shrill as the week goes on and the butthurt gets deeper.
The writers of Derek Fender Corner have also done their bit by heaping the pisstaking on them.
Tuesday saw the claim that one of their girls was a 'Kung Fu expert 'who took on eight communist homosexuals and beat them into a bloody mess, within an inch of their lives. Strangely no one saw this so we asked them to prove it and they claimed they had photos.
Well today is Thursday and the picture of the Kung Fu girl in action were postsed minus any Kung Fu action or girls. To be honest, Kung Fu is a dicipline and any self respecting Kung Fu artist would not be wanting to hang around with a group of shabby Facebook warriors like the Casuals.
Here is a picture of two groups of people not really talking to each other, hilarously entitled 'commies confront suicide squad' £1000 prize for anyone who can spot their 'Kung Fu girl.'
The only person a drunken Paul Pitt, aka Cypriot immigrant Prodromou, managed to smash was his equally idiotic son - in the face with a bunch of bamboo sticks.
So they put another picture up on their Kung Fu girl in action
And their Facebook page got even more shrill with some more stories that have taken them five days to make up
They then went on to claim that they attacked a middle aged woman and provided this photo which someone seems to have taken on a Nokia 7250.
South Coast Casuals decided to rock up to big up the 'Casuals Suicide Squad'. Paul Pitt, the Cypriot immigrant, also turned up to claim the people of Brighton failed to stop their March. Their march consisted of 250 yards and back along the seafront, with heavy police protection, and they failed to even make it that far...
This weekend has been conclusive proof that what remains of the Casuals seems to be a small group of shrill insecure teenagers headed by Jeff Uncle Fester Marsh who grooms them and stays well out of the way of any action himself, and cheered on by Paul Pitt who had his flag taken away from him by some communist homosexuals.
The real truth of the story is that one 'brave patriot' punched a middle aged woman and they spent the rest of the afternoon cowering in the St James' Street branch of Coral, waiting for the police to come and rescue them.
One thing is for sure, the more they lie to their own members, the more their own members are going to get pissed off with getting battered and humiliated. This shows as even the ex-EDL Casuals members think they are a massive embarrassment according to our sources.
We will be bringing more hilarity from the Casualties as and when we get it.
It was about this time last year that English Defence League leader, Tommy Robinson was caught trying to chat up an underaged Muslim girl.
When she informed him she was fifteen he got the hump and started racially abusing her.
Well, unable to contain himself, he is at it again and made sexually inappropriate remarks to another fifteen year old girl.
His blaise attitude to the age of consent should not come as too much of a surprise really, considering this is the second time he has been caught and the fact that he tried to cover up for Richard Price by claiming he was a 'political' prisoner which is a bit strange considering his organisation spends their entire time obsessing about Muslim grooming gangs and such.
As we always say, where the are EDLers, you are never more than a few feet away from a nonce.
When you are a far right extremist group, and you get chased out of Brighton and return a few weeks later for revenge and get chased out again, it is pretty soul destroying.
When you claim you are going back next year with bigger numbers and only turn up with half the number from the previous year, and get chased out again, that hurts.
When you have a leader like Jeff 'no show' Marsh' who does not dare show his face and lets the idiots that follow him take a sound kicking, that hurts even worse.
When you give teenage blogger, Zoe Marsh, 48 hours of intense butthurt thinking time to come up with a story to try and save some face, you get something like this which amused us no end.
What actually happened was they ended up cowering in a bookies as evidenced in the below YouTube video.
Where ever there are EDLers around, you are never more than a few feet away from a sex pest
We have met Kevin Smith in Derek Fender Corner numerous times before. Mainly for getting drunk, drugged up, racist and arrested at demos, and more recently because one of his former EDL girlfriends converted to Islam and dumped him which pissed him off no end.
He is quite popular with members of the English Defence League as he is one of the few that work and he does not mind splashing his cash around.
This week an anti fascist troll profile was minding their own business after sneaking into a Kev's secret anti troll Facebook group (a group set up to expose anti fascists - upon inspection they had failed to out any antifa whatsoever) when they suddenly got an inbox message from dirty Kev who was quite keen on meeting up for a bit of hows ya father.
Meet troll profile Mandy Lewis (below) aka Terry Grimshaw from Burnley.
Our Kev decides to try and woo her despite the fact he got engaged last month to his girlfriend.
What our Kev did not realise was he had just tried it on with a massive ginger fucker from Hartlepool who lists his hobbies as chewing coal, bashing fash and hanging monkeys.
Realising that he had made a massive tool of himself and was in rather a lot of trouble, Kev fell back on the tired and worn EDL excuse of 'I wuz hacked, honest'.
Kev had got so into Mandy that he gave her admin rights to his group which he promptly got booted out of. It is now being squatted by trolls.
Next week we will bring you Kev's online attempts to arrange for a German fella to come round and cook/eat his love pole.
We have featured EDL sex pests before, most notably Gaz Walker who sent this sexually charged photo to various EDLers. Who do you think is the biggest EDL sex pest? Let us know in the comments section.
It is quite common place for the EDL to fake an attack by hordes of armed to the teeth muslamic extremists just before a demo to get numbers up.
Some do it badly. For example, the fairy tales made up by Tommy and Kev. Some do it really really badly, as shown last night when a coke and booze fuelled attempt to stir up racial tension by loony Leeds regional organiser Gail Speight got rather out of control.
We have posted the screenie of the utterly embarrasing fiasco below but are happy to summerise if you do not want to plough though the entire idiotic charade.
1) A plea went out on Facebook stating that Speight's house was being attacked by armed Muslims.
2) Speight had her arm broken by a Muslamic with a metal bar
3) The police told her to 'leave it'
4) Instead of calling an ambulance, Speight thought it would be better to take to Facebook and tell other racists.
5) No EDL members could be contacted, presumably because they were either too drunk or found the whole story a complete load of massive bollocks
6) Diddyman goes to the rescue (the last person you need in situations which require some bravery and intelligence)
7) A completely stupid idea was thought up by Jenni Weaver: "A daft idea here but ring calendar news desk etc get media attention then police ect will have to help her."
8) Those EDL members who called them out on the massive bollocks were banned from the NE Division's page
9) Deluged under the calls of bullshit, the admin and Gail stopped trying to defend themselves and buggered off completely
We have it on good authority that Speight had been on an all day Wetherspoons bender with fellow racists, Jeffaz Carr and Hayley Ellis.
We suspect that by this morning they will have all sobered up and will be incredibly embarrased by this whole fiasco. One commentator on the tread summed it up nicely.
"Emmmm....I hate to point out the blindingly obvious....but if EDL claims that it exists to protect this country from violent Muslamics, then by last nights chronic display of cock-wombled fuckwittery, then we are all doomed. The Muslamics have won. Im away to try on my new burkha.....I suggest you all do the same.
Those invloved in this story spent the rest of Sunday sobering up and trying to make a plan to get themselves out fo this mess.
Unfortunatly they left this task to Jeffaz Carr who posted the following picture which was clearly taken in daylight. If you look at the position of the sun it was clearly taken twelve hours later at least.
According to a neighbour, the picture was taken the next day when a load of hungover and freshly drunk EDLers rocked up and the police were called. The group of 'asians' portrayed in the picture were some curious local kids who rocked up. The EDL did hold their ground. against some curious kids it seemed before the police moved them on.
One policeman stated that they had been called out to deal with Speight several times over the course of the day.
Even more unsurprisingly, Karen Marsden aka Lizzy Spacey came online and the story had changed and she had now been hit in the face with an iron bar and not the arm.
Last week we published some research on the EDL Cambridge demo. Out of the 30 people who attended the drunken fiasco, we stated that there was only one resident from Cambridge in attendance.
It turns out there were two but one got arrested for being drunk, urinating outside someone's house and racially abusing a Sikh policeman. He then went onto spit on a female police officer.
On the future occasions we undertake this kind of research, we will check with the police to make sure that they have not arrested any locals for being drunk and racist before they reach the demo site.
We now declare this demo a success with massive local support (even if one got nicked and can't remember being there)
We are sorry to hear about the susequent state of Mr May's arms but when you get drunk and spit at a police officer, you are going to get thrown very roughly to the ground.
From the Cambridge News
A protester who made racist remarks to a police officer and spat at another during last month's EDL and anti-fascist protests in Cambridge pleaded guilty yesterday.
Roy May, 56, of Elmfield Road, Cambridge, urinated outside a house in Emmanuel Street on February 23 when street closures for the protest were taking place.
Pc Singh confronted May about what he was doing and received a torrent of racial abuse, city magistrates were told.
Delia Matthews, prosecuting, said: "He was swearing and his words were slurred because he was drunk."
May then spat at police officers, catching Pc Helen Greenfield on the cheek.
Andrew Nicholson, mitigating, said May needed to go to the toilet and admitted that he did urinate in public.
He added: "He says he was pushed down into an area near the houses, where the bins were, and he says he was man-handled very roughly.
"One of the police officers, he wasn't sure which one, was holding on to his arms and they were being bent back, which hurt him quite considerably."
Mr Nicholson said: "He is still taking 12 painkillers a day for the injuries to his arms."
May will appear in court again on March 18 for sentencing.